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We tried all of his advice to no avail. I switched to boxers and we would go at it like banshees ever time she ovulated. Candace wanted a c***d and I just couldn't give her one. She got a little frustrated but never blamed me.One weekend last summer, a fraternity buddy of mine, Jason, called up and said his contracting work would bring him into town for a couple of weeks and asked if he could come by to visit. His business installed sprinkler systems in new buildings. There was a new public school building being constructed on the other side of the county. I was glad to hear from him and told him he could stay at our house and save some money. Candace said it would be nice to have some company. We rarely have visitors and she loves to cook.Jason arrived the very next day and Candace helped move him into our spare bedroom. He is very tall and his line of work makes him very muscular. He has dark hair and deep blue eyes and was always very handsome. Candace was taken in with his charm. ”Phone Operator: “G’day mate ... Helpline here ... What’s theproblem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stungon her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and raninto the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of herlungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!”The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff ormountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.”A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks, ‘How will I recognize him?’ ‘That’s easy; he’s a midget with a speech impediment.’ ... So, the midget shows.
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